"No man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity, for he is not permitted to prove himself."
- Seneca
Theme of the Week: The Arena of Growth
Brother,
My whole life, I have competed.
Whether it was through sport, competing against myself, or eventually competing against the cancer growing inside me, competition has always been a defining part of who I am. It has taught me countless lessons, but none more valuable than those I learned throughout my cancer journey.
During treatment, my competition was no longer against another goalkeeper or another team. It became a competition against the version of myself I was yesterday. Every day, I tried to become just a little bit stronger, physically, mentally, or emotionally. Every setback revealed a new lesson, a new level of awareness, and a greater appreciation for what competition can teach us.
My definition of competition has changed dramatically over the years. I went from competing as a professional athlete to now finding joy in things like golf and pickleball. On the surface, they seem incomparable. But I quickly realized that it wasn't the sport itself I was missing; it was the opportunity to compete.
When I played casually with people who didn't really care about the competitive side of the game, I often walked away feeling as though I had wasted my time.
What I've come to learn is that driven men carrying significant responsibility often need a low-stakes arena where they can express their competitive spirit.
For me, that's become a weekly pickleball match against a former professional hockey player. We compete hard, challenge one another, and afterwards sit down over coffee to reflect on the match and life. I've also developed a real appreciation for golf. The patience, discipline, focus, and emotional control it demands create a unique environment where I can continue developing qualities that extend far beyond the course.
Competition, I've realized, is one of the greatest mirrors we have. It reveals where we stand mentally, emotionally, and personally. As men, I believe we need healthy opportunities to compete in order to continue developing ourselves.
Competition reveals how we respond to pressure. It exposes our thought patterns, our emotional regulation, our discipline, and our composure when things don't go our way. It provides a safe environment to experience adversity while developing the skills to handle it better next time.
It also teaches us how to lose and how to win.
Losing has also become one of life's greatest teachers for me; a topic I'll save for another day. It humbles us and reminds us that our identity cannot be tied to results alone.
Winning teaches us something equally important.
Can we remain grounded? Can we respect our opponent? Can we appreciate the work it took to get there without becoming arrogant or entitled? The way a man wins often reveals just as much about his character as the way he loses.
Perhaps most importantly, competition gives us the opportunity to sharpen one another.
When we willingly step into the arena with people who are better than we are, we create an opportunity to grow. At the same time, those with more experience are given the opportunity to share their wisdom, mentor others, and elevate the people around them.
Stay strong, even when you are not. It’s okay, you are not alone.
With love always,
Michael Argyrides
